nivek_wahs
01-16-2006, 06:15 AM
Here's a column from Rob Vanstone of The Regina Leader-Post of some of Brent Parker's best quotes over the last few years...
http://www.canada.com/reginaleaderpost/news/sports/story.html?id=daa8ef21-e3c8-44bd-bc90-dcc6acbdc456&p=1
Here's the text...
Pats' GM has a way with words
Rob Vanstone, The Leader-Post
Published: Thursday, January 12, 2006
We now return you to the Rant Centre, where Regina Pats general manager Brent Parker recently unleashed another tirade.
On an otherwise tranquil Tuesday afternoon, Parker erupted when asked about Czech no-show Martin Hanzal and his agent, Robert Spalenka. Our man Greg Harder was on the scene to document Parker's proclamations.
"Quite frankly, (Hanzal) and his agent can go sit in Prague on their fat (derrieres) and do whatever they want because I'm so fed up with the whole thing," Parker emoted. "It's a disgrace the way they've handled it.''
"To hell with them,'' Parker continued one day before the Pats opposed the Prince Albert Raiders at the Brandt Centre. "He can spend the rest of his life playing in the Czech Division 9 or whatever the hell he wants to play in.''
The volcanic Parker belongs in Division 1 when it comes to offering up appetizing quotes to media carnivores.
Actually, Parker is in a league of his own. He is the most reliable quote machine you will ever find.
Saskatchewan Roughriders general manager Roy Shivers is equally candid, but less accessible. Roughriders defensive lineman Daved Benefield is conversant about everything. Three University of Regina coaches -- Frank McCrystal (football), Sarah Howald (women's hockey) and the under-rated Jeff Speedy (women's basketball) -- are also all-world quote dispensers. And let's not forget ex-Roughrider Colin Scrivener, who would say anything, anytime. He belongs in a Hall of Fame, somewhere.
But Parker should be the curator.
After Tuesday's eruption, I felt compelled to celebrate 10 years of wit, vitriol and sarcasm by presenting the very best of Vent -- er, Brent -- Parker.
Parker may have outdone himself on Tuesday. You be the judge.
- Shortly after the Quebec referendum of 1995, a Francophone NHL trainee named Eric Charron presided over a WHL game at the edifice formerly known as the Agridome.
When asked to critique Charron's performance, an unimpressed Parker responded: "I wish they had voted Yes.''
- In December of 1997, I phoned Parker as part of my (ahem) research for a column about treasured yuletide memories. He ended up gift-wrapping this unexpected Christmas present for an incredulous scribe:
"When I was going to college in Oregon, I brought my school girlfriend home for Christmas. I had a girlfriend in Calgary at the same time.
"I figured that I could keep them separate for three or four days and I had been doing a good job. It was working perfectly -- until my school girlfriend got sick.
"She gave everyone in my family the virus. There was a lineup at the bathroom on Christmas. Even my Calgary girlfriend got sick from my school girlfriend.
"The school girlfriend and the Calgary girlfriend didn't meet, but when they found out about each other, I was looking for new girlfriends in both places.
"My mom still hates me for that.''
-Parker's jousts with the Moose Jaw Warriors are legendary.
In 2001, Warriors antagonist Sean O'Connor opined that the only reason Parker is the Pats' GM is because his father, Russ, owns the team.
The GM's retort: "I wouldn't expect anything less from a guy who has the IQ of a pea.''
Parker can go from IQ to GQ in a matter of seconds.
When Lorne Molleken was named the Warriors' head coach in December of 2002, Parker had this to say: "Lorne might be the only person in Moose Jaw who owns a suit.''
Warriors director of hockey operations Barry Webster took umbrage to Parker's dressing-down of sartorially challenged Moose Javians.
"I do have some custom-made suits, but they differ somewhat from Parker's because they don't have to substitute for pyjamas,'' Webster said.
"In addition, mine don't come equipped with dummy strings to keep the mittens on.''
The gloves were off!
"Barry may own a suit, but it's the same one he owned in 1950 -- and a clown suit doesn't constitute formal attire,'' Parker countered. "Well, maybe in Moose Jaw it does . . .''
http://www.canada.com/reginaleaderpost/news/sports/story.html?id=daa8ef21-e3c8-44bd-bc90-dcc6acbdc456&p=1
Here's the text...
Pats' GM has a way with words
Rob Vanstone, The Leader-Post
Published: Thursday, January 12, 2006
We now return you to the Rant Centre, where Regina Pats general manager Brent Parker recently unleashed another tirade.
On an otherwise tranquil Tuesday afternoon, Parker erupted when asked about Czech no-show Martin Hanzal and his agent, Robert Spalenka. Our man Greg Harder was on the scene to document Parker's proclamations.
"Quite frankly, (Hanzal) and his agent can go sit in Prague on their fat (derrieres) and do whatever they want because I'm so fed up with the whole thing," Parker emoted. "It's a disgrace the way they've handled it.''
"To hell with them,'' Parker continued one day before the Pats opposed the Prince Albert Raiders at the Brandt Centre. "He can spend the rest of his life playing in the Czech Division 9 or whatever the hell he wants to play in.''
The volcanic Parker belongs in Division 1 when it comes to offering up appetizing quotes to media carnivores.
Actually, Parker is in a league of his own. He is the most reliable quote machine you will ever find.
Saskatchewan Roughriders general manager Roy Shivers is equally candid, but less accessible. Roughriders defensive lineman Daved Benefield is conversant about everything. Three University of Regina coaches -- Frank McCrystal (football), Sarah Howald (women's hockey) and the under-rated Jeff Speedy (women's basketball) -- are also all-world quote dispensers. And let's not forget ex-Roughrider Colin Scrivener, who would say anything, anytime. He belongs in a Hall of Fame, somewhere.
But Parker should be the curator.
After Tuesday's eruption, I felt compelled to celebrate 10 years of wit, vitriol and sarcasm by presenting the very best of Vent -- er, Brent -- Parker.
Parker may have outdone himself on Tuesday. You be the judge.
- Shortly after the Quebec referendum of 1995, a Francophone NHL trainee named Eric Charron presided over a WHL game at the edifice formerly known as the Agridome.
When asked to critique Charron's performance, an unimpressed Parker responded: "I wish they had voted Yes.''
- In December of 1997, I phoned Parker as part of my (ahem) research for a column about treasured yuletide memories. He ended up gift-wrapping this unexpected Christmas present for an incredulous scribe:
"When I was going to college in Oregon, I brought my school girlfriend home for Christmas. I had a girlfriend in Calgary at the same time.
"I figured that I could keep them separate for three or four days and I had been doing a good job. It was working perfectly -- until my school girlfriend got sick.
"She gave everyone in my family the virus. There was a lineup at the bathroom on Christmas. Even my Calgary girlfriend got sick from my school girlfriend.
"The school girlfriend and the Calgary girlfriend didn't meet, but when they found out about each other, I was looking for new girlfriends in both places.
"My mom still hates me for that.''
-Parker's jousts with the Moose Jaw Warriors are legendary.
In 2001, Warriors antagonist Sean O'Connor opined that the only reason Parker is the Pats' GM is because his father, Russ, owns the team.
The GM's retort: "I wouldn't expect anything less from a guy who has the IQ of a pea.''
Parker can go from IQ to GQ in a matter of seconds.
When Lorne Molleken was named the Warriors' head coach in December of 2002, Parker had this to say: "Lorne might be the only person in Moose Jaw who owns a suit.''
Warriors director of hockey operations Barry Webster took umbrage to Parker's dressing-down of sartorially challenged Moose Javians.
"I do have some custom-made suits, but they differ somewhat from Parker's because they don't have to substitute for pyjamas,'' Webster said.
"In addition, mine don't come equipped with dummy strings to keep the mittens on.''
The gloves were off!
"Barry may own a suit, but it's the same one he owned in 1950 -- and a clown suit doesn't constitute formal attire,'' Parker countered. "Well, maybe in Moose Jaw it does . . .''