Broncos/Hitmen Recap Feb. 16, 2005
Look at the time people, LOOK AT THE TIME. WILLIS LIVES TO RECAP!!!
Broncos vs. Hitmen, Feb. 16 2005.
The NHL season is dead and buried. To all the people who think this will increase WHL attendance I say HOGWASH!!! There will be no hockey news, no highlights, no exciting playoff hockey, people will just stop caring about the game. You need the pro game to care about the amateur. Don't go telling me that attendance is up in Calgary for the Hitmen because of the lockout. The Hitmen have four first rounders and an exciting euro, plus they play most of their games against Lethbridge who have Filewich, Redenbach and the Brocket Rocket, Medicine Hat with McArthur and Barker, Red Deer with an hour drive away and Dion Phaneuf. Calgary is also close to Cranbrook with Dawes, Glass and one of the best records in Canada. The Hitmen organization is successful because of who IS playing, not because of who isn't.
En route to the rink the pre-game player interview is with Boris Leckovic. In the interview he talks about how the officials will always screw over the Broncos and how Calgary is big, but small inside. Good interview!!!
The stage is set, in an attempt to fire up the crowd the music guy reaches into 1993 with some 2 unlimited!!! It doesn't work. Perhaps to fire up the aging Swift Current crowd they should have a bingo caller shout out numbers.
Scratches: SC: RJ Larochelle (concussion), Marek Knebl (drafted by Elden) and Jeremy Schenderling (illness). Calgary: Roman Tomenak, Issac Reid and Ryan Getzlaf (concussion).
Getzlaf mini-rant: This guy didn't even make the trip and I'll tell you why: women in Calgary LOVE the athletes. This past summer I was in a Calgary nightclub full of ladies who were looking for love. Suddenly word breaks out that Mike Commodore of the Flames is in the place and the ladies go nuts. MIKE COMMODORE!!! My point is with no NHL Ryan Getzlaf is the biggest stud in the whole damn city and he probably can't leave the house without women offering up their feminine goods to him. No choice to make really, a) go to Moose Jaw/Swift Current games and sit in stands or b) get freak on with Calgary's hottest.
Here comes Charlie Horse!!! He slides out to center ice banging his away on his drum. He does a lap around the net and in a hilarious pre-thought out moment falls down, pretends to die and convulses. Is Charlie trying to personify our playoff chances? His dancing has improved. He must have read my last recap. EVERYONE READS WILLIS!!!
Let's drop the puck, Moir, Rumsey, Lloyd, Cruse, Wasmuth, Horman for Swifty, Pogge, Yacboski, Schultz, Landolt, Ladd and Covington for Calgary. Trevor Peeters is now wearing a baseball cap on the bench for the Broncos. He realizes he has about as much chance of getting in the game as the waterboy.
Broncos are out working these guys but take a bench minor for too many men on a Hunter/Murray miscue. It's all Peeters' fault. Chynoweth should send him to the dressing room and have a shooter tutor backing up Kyle Moir. A good kill by the Broncos follows, Calgary get's their shots but Moir is seeing the puck well.
Bronco powerplay later on but ANDREW LADD breaks up the wing blowing by Donny Lloyd but here comes BARRY HORMAN who SLASHES LADD ON THE SHINS....WITH MUSTARD. Horman put all he had into that slash. He lumberjacked that boy but good. He get two minutes but that sent the message to Ladd who was a non factor after that. HORMAN RULES!!! Calgary has no tough guys to avenge that and Swift has no star players to go after in return. AWESOME!!! HORMAN! HORMAN!
First period ends scoreless, Broncos out shoot the Hitmen 8-7 and killed off three penalties in awesome fashion. Our penalty kill is STELLAR. Jerrid Sauer has to be one of the top penalty killers in the league. Luke Hunter needs to learn how to block a shot without hurting himself.
Intermission: The contest where three shooters try to break a window hanging from the net. For a big hockey town you'd think we could find some decent wrist shots. Kruse Glass sponsors this and have their truck on the ice. If this was in a bigger WHL city, in the back of the truck you would have a) a team mascot throwing treats and free stuff to the crowd. b) a very hot woman trying to get the crowd cheering. c)Some sort of Kruse Glass mascot. In Swift Current we get a truck with three unwashed children in the truck bed looking bored. WHO'S KIDS ARE THESE!?!?!?!?! WHATEVER HAPPENED TO PRESENTATION!?!?!?!
Our rink attendant tonite is wearing a BRONCO JACKET! He is also on skates to do net maitenance! He skates better than Defoe. Zamboni man is also somewhat cleaned up as well. EVERYONE READS WILLIS BABY!!!
Meanwhile back in Calgary, Ryan Getzlaf is listening to the game on radio. He turns the radio off for the intermission and reads the Calgary Sun. He likes the Sunshine Girl. He finds out who she is, calls her and gets his freak on with her all before the...
2nd period
Broncos working hard, both goalies on their games. At 13:34 Luke Hunter dumps the puck in from center, it bounces and SCOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRES!!!
Lucky bounce for the Broncos, SC crowd is too polite to give Pogge a "sieve" chant. He's lucky he didn't do that in The Hat. Those as$ hole fans would phone Pogge at home a week after just to call him a sieve. If you live in the Hat don't mad at me for name calling. You guys are proud to be as$ holes and you know it. I wish our barn was a tenth as loud....just with fewer mullets.
Hunter, unassisted, DAVID SCHULZ IS +1 TONITE!!! TAKE THAT NON BELIEVERS!!!
Later in the period Michael Szszachor makes himself useful and goads Ladd into a coincidental minor.
Pushkarev has been most useless tonite.
1-0 Swift after two.
Intermission: Back in Calgary, Ryan Getzlaf and the three strippers he's listening to the game with now discuss what must be going wrong for the Hitmen while freaking!
Nothing happening this intermission, NOTHING AT ALL!!! ENTERTAIN ME WITH A SHOOTOUT, A T-SHIRT SLINGSHOT, ANYTHING!!!
3rd Period:
FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!!!
Boris Leckovic and Tyler Harder gear down. They dance and shadow box, Leckovic lunges and then goes COMPLETELY DEFENSIVE!!! He does not want to take a punch. Winner: Draw, Loser: The fans.
Broncos are playing SOLID DEFENCE.
Hunter and Dupont collide with Pogge. Dupont get's two for roughing, Hunter two minutes for....GOALTENDER INTERFERANCE. I love the way the PA announcer has a disgusted sound in his voice when announcing a joke of a call.
Late in the game Pogge is out of the net. empty net chance to by Hunter is off the post! Only one neutral zone garbage goal per game Luke!
Calgary didn't have an offensive sniff this game. Swift BUSTED THEIR ASSES!!
1-0 Swift Current final.
3 stars:
1. Kyle Moir (31 save shutout)
2. Barry Horman (The man!!!)
3. Jerrid Sauer (penalty killing machine)
Back in Calgary Getzlaf turns his radio off in shame and re-concusses himself by banging his head on his headboard with several female Calgary sports reports.
I'm going to bed now.
Willi$
