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Thread: Jokes...

  1. #111
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Bentley, Alberta
    Posts
    937

    Default

    An armless, legless girl is laying on a beach, crying. A man walks by and asks her "what's wrong?"

    The girl says "In all my life I've never been kissed."

    So the man kneels down and kisses her, gets up and walks away.

    This time, she starts crying, only more louder. He comes back and asks "Why are you crying this time for?"

    And she goes "In all my life I've never been ****ed."

    So the man picks her up and tosses her in the ocean and goes "you're ****ed now!"
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------

    A man is in a bar, and is drunk and pukes all over his shirt. He goes to the bartender and says "I puked on my shirt, if I go home and my wife finds out she'll kill me."

    So the bartender says "relax, here is what you do, you take this $10 bill, stick it in your pocket and say someone puked on you and gave you $10 to get your shirt cleaned."

    The drunk asks "will it work?"

    Bartender says "trust me it will"

    So the drunk goes home, and says to his wife "I was at the bar and someone puked all over my shirt, but gave me this $10 bill to get it cleaned."

    So he pulls out the bill and shows it, and his wife goes "That's a $20 bill..."

    To which the man replies, "Oh yea I forgot, he also **** in my pants."
    ============================================

    A man comes home to his wife he goes "Honey, pack your bags I just won the lottery."

    She goes "what should I pack?"

    He says "I don't care, just pack and get the **** out!"
    ==========================================

    Dracula walks into a bar, and orders a cup of hot water. He takes out a tampon and starts dipping it in the water. The bartender asks "What are you doing?" Dracula says "I'm making tea."

    =============================================
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  2. #112
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Red Deer, AB
    Posts
    280

    Iconcup Obama

    I was talking with my 14 year old grand-daughter on the phone (hands free) and being as Memorial Day was on the Monday and she lives in the U.S, I asked her what was the next special day coming up. She relied " Oh, Bubba, that's Memorial Day!" And I said. "What's so special about Memorial Day?" She replied, " That is when President Barack Obama steps out of the White Hosue and if he sees his shadow, we get 2 more years of unemployment and stupidity!"
    I almost snorted my coffee!!

  3. #113
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Swift Current
    Posts
    224

    Default

    The biggest joke ever: The Saskatchewan Roughriders!
    I says pardon?

  4. #114
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Riderville
    Posts
    40

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Link Dog View Post
    The biggest joke ever: The Saskatchewan Roughriders!
    Really?

  5. #115
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Swift Current
    Posts
    224

    Default

    How about this one. Which CFL team has the fewest Grey Cup championships? The Saskatchewan Roughriders!
    I says pardon?

  6. #116
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Riderville
    Posts
    40

    Default


  7. #117
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Riderville
    Posts
    40

    Default

    Ok, maybe the Rider's are now a joke.

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