Jokes...

[HURRICANE'S ROCK]

A Guy goes into a bar and there is a robot bartender. The robot says, "What will you have?"
The guy says "Martini." The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man,
"What's your IQ?" The guy says, "168." The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.

The guy leaves, but he is curious, so he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says, "What will you have?"
The guy says, "Martini". Again, the robot makes a great martini, gives it to the man and says,
"What's your IQ?" The guy says, "100." The robot then starts to talk about Nascar, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.

The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, "What will you have?"
The guy says, "Martini", and the robot brings him another great martini. The robot then says,
"What's your IQ?" The guy says, "Uh, about 50."

The robot leans in real close and says, "So... How about those Leafs?

[nivek_wahs]

A Guy goes into a bar and there is a robot bartender. The robot says, "What will you have?"
The guy says "Martini." The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man,
"What's your IQ?" The guy says, "168." The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.

The guy leaves, but he is curious, so he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says, "What will you have?"
The guy says, "Martini". Again, the robot makes a great martini, gives it to the man and says,
"What's your IQ?" The guy says, "100." The robot then starts to talk about Nascar, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.

The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, "What will you have?"
The guy says, "Martini", and the robot brings him another great martini. The robot then says,
"What's your IQ?" The guy says, "Uh, about 50."

The robot leans in real close and says, "So... How about those Leafs?

[WestLEAFfan]

I fail to see the humor in that!!!

[GBG BLEED BLUE]

I fail to see the humor in that!!!

It is ok there will be a day when ALL Leaf fans can be proud of their team, I hope this day comes sooner than later!!!

[Bare Bear]

It seems that this fellow was on the beach and found a little bottle. Well he was rubbing the bottle to see what it was and lo and behold out pops a genie. After thanking the man she offered him but one wish to which he replied, "I want to live forever"! She says but come on, you know I can't do that. He thought and thought and finally declared "I want to live until the Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup!) The genie rolls her eyes back and says, "Cagey little bugger aren't you?"

[Guy-10]

What do Toronto Maple Leaf fans have that Montreal Canadien fans will NEVER have ???
B+W photos of their last Stanley Cup parade !!!


What is the ONLY differance betwenn American and Canadian hockey???

Its not considered a MIRACLE when we win GOLD!!!!

[dangledyou]

A blonde went into a world wide message centre to send a message to her mother overseas.

When the man told her it would cost £30, she exclaimed: "I don't have any money." But I'd do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother."

The man arched an eyebrow (as we would expect).

"Anything?" he asked.

"Yes, yes, anything" the blonde promised.

Well, then, "Just follow me" said the man as he walked towards the next room.
The blonde did as she was told and followed the man.
" Come in and close the door" the man said.

She did.

He then said "Now get on your knees."

She did.

"Now take down my zipper."

She did.

"Now go ahead ... Take it out....." He said..

She reached in and grabbed it with both hands .

Then paused..

The man closed his eyes and whispered ..

"Well .... Go ahead."

The blonde slowly brought her mouth closer to it and while holding it close to her lips, .... .tentatively said .....





"Hello. Mum, can you hear me?"

[3rebels]

A guy says to the bartender, "Can my dog and I watch the Toronto Maple Leafs hockey game here? My cable is out, and my dog and I always watch the game together."

The bartender replies, "Normally, dogs wouldn't be allowed in my bar, but it's not very busy right now, so you and the dog can have a seat at the end of the bar. But, if there's any trouble with you or the dog, I'll have to ask you to leave."

The guy agrees, and he and his dog start watching the game. Pretty soon, the Leafs manage to score a goal and the excited dog jumps up on the bar, barks loudly, does a back flip and runs over to the bartender and gives him a high-five.

The bartender says, "Wow, that's pretty cool! What does he do when the Leafs win a game ?"

The guys answers, "I have No Idea, I've only had him for 10 years."

[3rebels]

What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?

A: They both look good until they hit the ice.

What's the difference between the Toronto Maple Leafs
and a cigarette vending machine?

A: The vending machine has Players!

What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and whales have in common?

A: They both get totally confused when surrounded by ice.

Why are the Toronto Maple Leafs like Canada Post?

A: They both wear uniforms and don't deliver!

Why doesn't Hamilton have an NHL team?
A: Because then Toronto would want one...

What do the Toronto Maple Leafs, Toronto Argonauts and the Toronto Blue Jays all have in common besides being based in Toronto ?
A. None of them can play hockey.

What do you call 30 millionaires around a TV watching
the Stanley Cup Playoffs?
A. The Toronto Maple Leafs.

What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and Billy Graham have
in common?

A. They both can make 20,000 people stand up and yell 'Jesus Christ'.

How do you keep the Toronto Maple Leafs out of your yard?
A. Put up a goal net.

What do you call a Toronto Maple Leaf with a Stanley
Cup ring?
A. A thief.

What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and possums have in common?
A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.

How many Toronto Maple Leafs does it take to win a
Stanley Cup?
A. Nobody knows ... And we may never find out

[WestLEAFfan]

^^^Oh you are just hilarious?!?^^^