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Thread: Jokes...

  1. #11
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    A three year old little boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath.

    Mama," he asked, "Are these my brains?"

    Mama answered, "Not yet."

  2. #12
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    An engineer died and ended up in Hell.
    > He was not pleased with the level of comfort in Hell,
    > and began to redesign and build improvements.
    > After awhile, they had toilets that flush, air conditioning, and
    > escalators.
    >
    > Everyone grew very fond of him.
    >
    > One day God called Satan. "So, how's it going down there in Hell?"
    > asked God.
    >
    > Satan replied, "Hey, things are great. We've got air conditioning and
    > flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer
    > is going to come up with next!"
    >
    > God was surprised, "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake.
    > He should never have gotten down there in the first place.
    > Send him back up here."
    >
    > "No way," replied Satan. "I like having an engineer,
    > and I'm keeping him."
    >
    > God threatened, "Send him back up here now or I'll sue!"
    >
    > Satan laughed and answered, "Yeah, right.
    > And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"

  3. #13
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    While attending a Maple Leaf game this guy notices another guy with a dog at his side.To his amazement he notices that everytime the Leafs score the dog does a somersault.Again the Leafs score and again the dog does a somersault.This goes on 3 or 4 times until he finally just can't stand it anymore and has to ask this guy why his dog does a somersault everytime the Leafs score.So he gets up and goes over to where the guy with the dog is sitting and says:

    "Excuse me sir,I have a question about your dog.I noticed that everytime the Leafs score a goal your dog does a somersualt.Why is that?"


    The guy with the dog replies:

    "I know,it's wierd,I have no explanation.Everytime the Leafs score he does a somersault."


    First guy then says:

    "What does he do when the Leafs win?"

    The guy with the dog replies:

    "I don't know,I've only had him 10 years!!!"

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by langdak
    First guy then says:

    "What does he do when the Leafs win?"

    The guy with the dog replies:

    "I don't know,I've only had him 10 years!!!"
    Yeah and we won't know for another 10 years.
    KELOWNA ROCKETS 2004 MEMORIAL CUP CHAMPIONS!

    http://cropcircle.ca/forums/index.php

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jovorock
    Yeah and we won't know for another 10 years.

    lol my sediments exactly

  6. #16
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    Two couples were playing poker one evening. John accidentally dropped some
    >>cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he
    >>noticed Bill's wife Sue wasn't wearing any underwear under her dress!
    >>
    >>Shocked by this, John upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on
    >>the table and emerged red-faced.
    >>
    >>Later, John went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bill's wife
    >>followed and asked, "Did you see anything that you liked under there?"
    >>
    >>Surprised by her boldness, John courageously admitted that, well indeed he
    >>did.
    >>
    >>She said, "Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500." After taking
    >>a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs
    >>of this offer, John confirms that he is interested.
    >>
    >>She tells him that since her husband Bill works Friday afternoons and John
    >>doesn't, John should be at her house around 2 p.m. Friday afternoon.
    >>
    >>When Friday rolled around, John showed up at Bill's house at 2 p.m. sharp
    >>and after paying Sue the agreed sum of $500 they went to the bedroom and
    >>closed their transaction, as agreed. John quickly dressed and left.
    >>
    >>As usual, Bill came home from work at 6 p.m. and upon entering the house,
    >>asked his wife abruptly. "Did John come by the house this afternoon?"
    >>
    >>With a lump in her throat Sue answered "Why yes, he did stop by for a few
    >>minutes this afternoon." Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband
    >>curtly asked, "And did he give you $500?"
    >>
    >>In terror she assumed that somehow he had found out and after mustering
    >>her best poker face, replied, "Well, yes, in fact he did give me $500."
    >>
    >>Bill, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying,
    >>"Good, I was hoping he did. He came by the office this morning and
    >>borrowed $500 from me. He promised me he'd stop by our house this
    >>afternoon on his way home and pay me back."
    >>
    >>Now THAT, my friends, is a poker player!

  7. #17
    C.F Guest

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    3 tomato's were walking across the street. A father tomato, a mother tomato, and baby tomato. The baby tomato was falling behind, so the father tomato squished him and said "ketchup".

    Gotta love Pulp Fiction.

  8. #18
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    Default Funniest Joke of The Year

    The media and fans picking the Roughriders to win the West!!! LOL. I love the Green and White and will continue to cheer for them. Why did we do good last year, because Nealon wasn't at the helm. Getting rid of Burris was our biggest mistake in years.
    Always Remembered

  9. #19
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    Smile Heres a joke i found on ebaumsworld

    A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

    The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."

    The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you,but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"

    The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

    The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to."

    The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me."

    So she's the most beautiful woman in the world!

    For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

    The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you."

    The woman said,"That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."

    So, she's the richest woman in the world!

    The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."
    MEDICINE HAT TIGERS
    http://tigerturf.blogspot.com/

  10. #20
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    Hillbilly Mirror
    > > > >> >After living in the remote wilderness of Kentucky
    > > > >> >all his life, an old hillbilly decided it was time to visit the
    big
    > > > >> >city.
    > > > >> >In one of the stores he picks up a mirror and looks in it.
    > > > >> >Not knowing what it was, he remarked,"How about that!
    > > > >> >Here's a picture of my daddy."
    > > > >> >He bought the 'picture', but on the way home he
    > > > >> >remembered his wife,Lizzy,didn't like his father. So he
    > > > >> >hung it in the barn, and every morning before leaving
    > > > >> >for the fields, he would go there and look at it.
    > > > >> >Lizzy began to get suspicious of these many trips
    > > > >> >to the barn.
    > > > >> >One day after her husband left, she searched the barn
    > > > >> >and found the mirror.
    > > > >> >As she looked into the glass, she fumed, "So that's
    > > > >> >the ugly (b)witch he's running' around with."

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